The Day the Pipes Burst

Let's start at the beginning.  I felt terrible Sunday and was in bed taking a nap when Ben started screaming, "Get William!" then ran out of the house.  I had no idea what was going on for a few minutes 1) because I had been dead asleep and 2) because no one told me.  This part is still sort of blurry but at some point I wandered to the staircase where the door was open leading to the basement and saw a river spewing out near the ceiling right between the basement and garage.  Then I woke up.  The pipes had burst.  Ben came running back in and out of the house for the next few minutes asking where to turn the water off and screaming while I was frantically on the phone dialing information for Roto Rooter.  Roto Rooter was all booked and had no one available for emergencies which for some reason gave me some solace that we weren't the only ones going through this emergency.  So then I tried to get on the computer but somehow couldn't find a good central location for plumbers.  I ran around the house like a chicken with its head cut off looking for a phone book and found one more quickly than I would have imagined.  I called Mr. Rooter whose number had been disconnected and Cedar Bluff plumbing who evidently didn't have weekend emergency service.  Then I called some random company called HEP that had taken out a full page ad in the phone book (making them legitimate in my eyes at the time) advertising emergency service and they did have someone available.  That someone turned out to be Ralf.  Now before I continue I want to preface this with several things...I do not discriminate, especially against Mexicans because I love them and would move to Mexico in a heartbeat.  But I seriously doubt that Ralf was a licensed plumber if he was even a legal citizen.  I also think he may have been retarded.  I don't know how to put it delicately- he seemed retarded.  Ben also told me later that Ralf had spelled my name "Alizabeth" and that is how it would be spelled alliteratively.  Ralf knew less about plumbing than I did and he said it would cost us $300 just to cap the fucking pipe until someone could come out and fix it for an additional fee that we assumed would be considerably more than an additional $300 later.  I could go on and on here about how I ended up submitting a complaint on them to the Better Business Bureau but as I was telling one of my coworkers about this today she asked me who the company was and I said HEP and she said she sees their commercials all the time and proceeded to google it.  See for yourself- it will tell you a little something about the company:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gp5S0MNJBk


If I had seen this before I called I would not have even used them despite our desparate situation.  In the meantime Ben finally ran next door to our neighbors house and luckily he was home and saved the day.  He knew where to turn the water off at the street, he had a wrench to turn it off when it was stuck, and he had a wet vac to vacuum up all the water.  All of a sudden after I called all the plumbers I remembered that the first thing Ben had screamed was "Get William" and I hadn't seen William for the past 15 minutes or so.  When I finally regained consciousness I started screaming for William and couldn't find him anywhere.  When I finally found him he was under his bed playing some sick joke on me.  I'm going to pause here because this story isn't half over but I'm tired and the second part has to do with staying with my mom since we didn't have any water and, if you know me, you know that's an even better story.  Let me also say here though that we came back to the house to meet another plumber on Monday (the next day) and as soon as we got home Ben went down and started trying to tear all the drywall off the wall.  I told him to just wait for the plumber because we might not have to do all that.  Sure enough he ruined part of the wall for no reason.  Luckily, however, he was not strong enough to break through most of the drywall.  I should stop making fun of him though because today is his 30th birthday and I love him.